Rhoades to Fitness
It's YOU vs. YOU

My new inspiration

I just got back from 11 wonderful days in northern ky/cincinnati. Have I ever mentioned how much i adore my friends? 😉 you’ll be happy to know, that isn’t what the blog is about. anyway, we all know that i started traveling there for fitness affiliated reasons and though i may (or may not. never say never) be retired from competing, fitness is still a very important part of my life. when i first started this journey, i used to look at the cover model of every oxygen magazine and want their body. i flipped through every fitness magazine wanting what i didn’t have and constantly putting myself down for my not so sculpted legs or whatever it was i was focusing on that day….this past year has been a trying time for me and my goals in this area of my life. my body didn’t want to cooperate with me the last time i tried to lean out for a show. no matter how much cardio i was doing, how little carbs i was taking in, or how many cheat meals i WASN’t having, my body was not giving in and i was killing myself trying. after Julie finally telling me to stop and suggesting i see a doctor (i still wasn’t convinced anything was wrong and though i told her i’d stop, i kept going another month. again nothing budged). Si then my friends double teamed me and MADE me go see a specialist (i’m not hard headed at all). after draining my body of what felt like a gallon of my blood for testing and spitting into tubes, i finally sat down with a doctor to go over my results. she told me i was in adrenal fatigue and my thyroid was extremely low, and for all those reasons, my estrogen and testosterone were at rock bottom, and a few other things but thats all boring….bottom line, she told me to SLOW DOWN, rest, and we would begin treating my problems so that one day hopefully my body would work properly for itself without medication….okay so that was back in march and i’ve done a lot of resting and fat gaining, muscle losing, mind battling and everything in between in that time. what i have learned is my weak body is still REALLY strong even at my weakest, my friends and family still love me with “more of me to love”, and i still love myself and who i am. My goals are now to get my body working properly so that it won’t always be so hard to lose weight and one day finding that place that isn’t stage ready but that i feel comfortable in my own skin. i no longer look at the Erin Stern’s and Nicole W. Lee’s of the world and want to look like them. WHY? because i will NEVER look like them. I now look at pictures when i remember feeling good about myself and feeling pretty and confident and i KNOW i can look like that again. I’m my own new inspiration. i also realized that every time i told myself i was fat, or not pretty, that i was pretty much telling God, “You didn’t do good enough”. It hurts my heart to even type that. With that said i don’t think i have to accept where my body is at this moment in my life as my forever body here on earth. no, he gave me physical and mental strength to preform and make my body the BEST body i can have for ME! My goal is to have the best arms, abs, butt and legs that i can obtain without risking my health. Its as simple as that. I’m learning everyday to accept. Accept my body, my heart, the love of my friends and family, and the love of God. Its a process and i’m learning….slowly. 

This was on my heart the past few days to share. I know there are many women out there playing the same mind games with themselves everyday of “not as lean, or muscular, or pretty as (fill in the blank).” Ease up on yourself, God did a great job when He made you. Just focus on being the best you, you can be. You can’t be anyone else. 

Love you all. 

 

Advertisements

11 Responses to “My new inspiration”

  1. Best blog ever…

  2. Erin you are such an inspiration. From the first FitBody meeting I attended I listened carefully to what you had to say. You are a beautiful woman inside and out. I’m truly blessed to have met you. Thank you for sharing your story. Please know you have given me hope. My self worth s not what the scale says or what size clothing I wear. Self worth comes from within and of course above.

  3. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You said the words that I needed to hear today 🙂

  4. Erin,

    Thanks do much for writing your story. As woman, we are so hard on ourseveles to look a certain way that it can destroy our sprit. I feel like I’m constantly struggling everyday and I’m so sick of it. It takes control of my entire life. I hate it! Your words are so true and helpful knowing that we can’t have the body of te people we see on magazines or even some of my friends. I’m blessed that God has thus far given me a healthy body that I can look at and say “Ok, I may not be the skinniest or have the perfectly shaped arms, legs, stomach, but God gave me a heatlhy body that I need to take care of”. I’m grateful for my health. Thanks do much for sharing your story. I think you are a beautiful person inside and out. Many blessings to you always. Don’t change;)

  5. This brought tears to my eyes, I am so hard on myself and no matter how much weight I lose nothing is ever good enough! Your story helped me really open my eyes to whats important! Thank you!

  6. As you can tell by other responses, your blog has hit home with many of us. I have fought this battle long and hard for years and I need to ease up, let go, and love the body God gave me….yes I can be the best..but MY best…not a magazine, photo shop best! God bless you!

  7. This brought tears to my eyes, I am so hard on myself in all things of my live – nothing is ever good enough! Your story helped me really open my eyes to whats important! Thank you! I am a girl from germany at the age of 47 – mother from 3 Girls (21-18-14) Your words are sooo amazing. Love and peace for you. Biofee

    • thank you for posting. do you know i wrote that and i STILL struggle. i have to go back a read my own words sometimes and remember whats important. again, thank you. this made me open my eyes today and remember.

  8. Thank you Erin for sharing that! I know exactly how you feel!! I’m battling my head right now to get back in the gym and kitchen. I need to drop about 10 lbs and this has been the hardest time for me to battle these 10lbs. Mentally, physically, and emotionally I just can’t snap out of it! I admire you for posting this! I’m here to motivate you as I take on my new adventure as well!! Love ya girl!!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: